First International Conference on Sexuality

Perhaps this is a good opportunity to take a historical perspective and to recall the very first conference on sexuality.


Minutes of the First International Conference on Sexuality

[Editors note: Some of the early parts of this transcript have been damaged due to extreme age and in particular the exact date of the conference has been lost–however it is known to have been several billion years B.C.E..]

… recognizes the Delegate from the Western Gondwanaland Coast

First, I want to make it clear that the entire concept of “sexual reproduction” is one which I find abhorrent. Mitosis was good enough for my parent and this idea of (ugh) “mingling” genetic material goes against the very integrity of our cell walls.

I want to read into the record at this time the entire text of our sacred scriptures: The Book of Creation.

“In the beginning was the ooze. And God moved across the face of the ooze and he divided the silt from the pure water. And God saw that it was good. And so the evening and the morning were the first day.

“Then God said, “Let there be LIFE!” and the water teemed with single-celled asexually-reproducing organisms. And God saw that it was good. And so the evening and the morning were the second day.

Then God saw all that he had created, and behold it was good and it was perfect. And on the third day God rested from all of his labors.”

The End

Our scientists have speculated that this “mingling” of genetic material may lead to DIVERSITY and even SPECIATION! We know from the BoC that each of our original ancestors was created perfect. We have asexually divided faithfully from that ancient time, each mitotic division perfectly reproducing each new generation without variation–without error.

We are each made in the IMAGE OF GOD and to change that would be wrong. God made Adam, not Adam and Eve.

Those genetic minglers (I say meddlers!) say that they are genetically different from the rest of us and that it is natural for them to divide both sexually and asexually. But this is impossible. We are each perfect replicas of our original prototypical ancestor.

There are those, the so-called “evolutionists” who raise the false hope that we can become something better through what they call “selection”. But I say, that we were made directly by God himself.

There CAN BE NO IMPROVEMENT. Change can only lead to decay and to death. I hesitate to talk about this, but it is known that there have been a few cases when the cellular division has not been completely faithful to the ancestor cell–and in such cases the divided cells die or are horribly deformed. Is this what we want to bring on ourselves and our next generation?


At this time the chair recognizes the representative from the Tropical Seas of the Antarctic.

My fellow creatures. I will be brief. I have the greatest respect for all of the other speakers who have been heard here today. But I feel deep in my protoplasm, that there is something more for us to become. I don’t think that we were made perfect, but with potential. I think that there are more chapters to be written in the Book of Creation and that we today have the opportunity to begin the course that will let them be written.


[At this point the document is again damaged beyond recognition except for a brief fragment regarding an “unfortunate accident” which befell the Tropical Seas representative. Ed.]

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